whizzbang.biz Blog

On Saturday The Times newspaper is offering readers a free DVD Entitled “The Assassination of JFK” aswell as a free Newspaper Article of the event.

I’m not getting my hopes up & I could be wrong, but I’m wondering if this is part of the same DVD series which the Daily Mirror offered recently, which was entitled “Events that shook the World”, and if so, are The Times going to offer the rest of the DVDs in the series, in which case they will be well worth getting (I only know that because I’ve already watched them). Anyway If they do offer the rest of the series, the titles will be:

* Man on the Moon
* Assassination of JFK
* Coronation of Queen Elizabeth II
* World War I
* World War II
* 9/11
* Fall of the Berlin Wall
* Sinking of the Titanic
* The Falklands War
* World’s First Flight
* Tsunami
* Chernobyl
* The Vietnam War
* Death of Diana
* John Lennon Shot
* Scott of the Antarctic
* Iranian Embassy Siege
* Nelson Mandela Released
* Apollo 13
* The Cuban Missile Crisis

Two Native Americans and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Native Americans ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.

“Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, “Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Native American what it was all about.
“Was the other Native American crazy or what?”

The Native American replied “No, It is our custom during mating season when men see cave, they holler ‘Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!’ into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there’s a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.”

Just then they came upon another cave. The second Native American ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered,
“Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!”

Immediately, there was the answer.
“Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” from deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking,

“Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!”

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might

“Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!”

Like the others, he then heard an answering call,
“WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!”

With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran. The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read…..

(Get ready, this will kill ya),

NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!

Customer: “I’ve been calling 7001000 for two days and can’t get through; can” you help?”
Operator: “Where did you get that number, sir?”
Customer: “It’s on the door of your business.” Operator: “Sir, those are the hours that we are open.”

Electronics Caller: “Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?”
Operator: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.”
Caller: “On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?”
Operator: “I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.”

RAC Moto ring Services Caller: “Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?”
Operator: “Does the product name give you a clue?”

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe): “If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?”

Directory Enquiries Caller: “I’d like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please”
Operator: “I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?”
Caller: “Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off.”

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: “Woven? Are you sure?”
Caller: “Yes. That’s what it says on the label Woven in Scotland.”

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: “I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up the window to write the number on.”

Tech Support: “I need you to rightclick on the Open Desktop.”
Customer: “OK.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a popup menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “OK. Right Click again. Do you see a popup menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”

Tech Support: “OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow! How can you see my screen from there?”

Caller: “I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?”