I’ve now watched Slumdog Millionaire a couple of times on DVD, I still think Freida Pinto is gorgeous, the only trouble is now I can’t get the theme tune Jaiho out of my head, still it’s a great tune, which I have included below for your listening pleasure
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland )
Dear Mum & Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm – tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack – nothin’!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there’s lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!
At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there’s no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don’t get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we’ve been on a ‘route march’ – geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!
This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin’ – dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum’s bum and it don’t move and it’s not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target – it’s a piece of piss!! You don’t even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don’t have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!
Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy – it’s not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I’m not a bad boxer either and it looks like I’m the best the platoon’s got, and I’ve only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers – he’s 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I’m only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin’ wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
I can’t complain about the Army – tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
Your loving daughter,
Sheila
A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman,
‘Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?’
The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and
cheese toastie.
The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.
The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer,
and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.
The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub,
(because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the
Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leave
The next night, the pub is packed.
In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie,
please barman.’
The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie,
and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down
The next night there is standing room only in the pub.
Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending.
The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year
In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie,
please barman,
The barman says, ‘I’m sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right
out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties..’
The rabbit looks aghast.
The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his
throat nervously and says, ‘We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.’
The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, ‘Are you sure I will like it.’
The masses’ bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.
The barman, with a roguish smile says,
‘Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you’ll
love it.’
‘Ok’, says the rabbit, ‘I’ll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion
Toastie.’
The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the
toastie.
He then waves to the crowd and leaves….
NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!
One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who
has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time.
When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form,
floating above the bar.
The barman says, ‘Who are you?’,
To which he is answered,
‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.’
The barman says, ‘I remember you. You made me famous.
You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese
Toastie.
Masses came to see you and this place was famous.’
The rabbit says, ‘Yes I know.’
The barman said, ‘I remember, on your last night we didn’t have any Ham
and Cheese Toasties.
You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.’
The rabbit said, ‘Yes, you promised me that I would love it.
The barman said, ‘You never came back, what happened?’
‘I DIED’ ,said the rabbit.
‘NO!’ said the barman. ‘What from?’
After a short pause The rabbit said…
‘Mixin-me-toasties.’
