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One chilly day, a man is working in his garden with no trousers on.
“Why aren’t you wearing any pants?” a passer-by asks.
“It was my wife’s suggestion,” the man replies.
“Last week, I was out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck.
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A husband comes home with a tube of intimate lubricating jelly. “This will make you happy tonight,” he tells his wife.
He was right. Later, when he nips to the loo, she squirts it all over the doorknob so he can’t get back in.
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A lady asks the pharmacist: “Do you have Viagra?”
“Yes, madam,” he answers.
“Does it work?” she asks.
“It certainly does,” he tells her.
“Can you get it over the counter?” she inquires. “Yes,” he replies, “If I take two.”
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A newlywed couple are about to make love for the first time. The young bride doesn’t know what to do, so the groom tries to explain in a way she’ll understand.
“Let’s make it a game, where we call your bit “the cell”
and my bit “the prisoner”,” he begins.

“When the prisoner is put in the cell, he gets angry and moves around,”
Sure enough, the prisoner is put in the cell and the wife loves it. In fact, the prisoner is such a sucess, she wants him in the cell a second, third and foyrth time.
But when she asks the fifth time, the man cries:
“Flaming heck, he hasn’t got a life sentence!”

A maid for a wealth family asks the wife of the house for a pay rise. The wife is very upset about this and asks why.
“Three reasons,” says the maid. “The first is that I iron better than than you do.”
“Who says you iron better than me?” the wife snaps, offended.
“Your husband does,” the maid replies.
“The second reason is that I’m a much better cook than you are.”
“Nonsensense!” the wife scoffs. “Who says you’re a better cook than me?”
“Your husband does,” the maid replies.
“And the third reason?” the wife asks.
“I’m a better lover than you,” the maid says.
The wife is now furious. “Did my husband tell you that as well?” she storms.
“Oh no, madam,” the maid whispers. “The gardener did.”

A newspaper recently offered Tea Time for the Traditionally Built by Alexander McCall Smith for half-price. So seeing as I’m still having to spend plenty of time in bed resting, I decided it would be a great opportunity to get it and read it along with all the other Alexander McCall Smith novels I have got, which are:

The No 1 Ladies Detective Agency – By Alexander McCall Smith
Precious Remotswe is Botswana’s finest and only Female Detective, and runs The Number One Ladies Detective Agency. Her methods may not be conventional, but she’s got warmth, wit and canny intuition on her side, not to mention Mr JLB Metekoni, the charming owner of Tlokweng Road Speedy Motors.

All is not well on Zebra Drive, Mma Remotswe has got plenty of work, ranging from thefts to Suspicious Deaths at the Mochudi Hospital, but Mma Makutsi’s forthcoming marriage threatens to destabilise their happy working relationship.

Sensing this, her husband, JLB Metekoni decides to help out a bit and prove himself worthy. So he has a go at a little detective work himself, unfortunately though this doesn’t quite go according to plan

Mma Remotswe’s latest client is the big-shot owner of the Kalahari Swoopers, unfortunately she knows little about football. Matters are complicated when Violet Sephotho sets her sights on Mma Makutsi’s unsuspecting fiance, and it soon becomes clear that most men don’t recognise (or are too busy enjoying it) when a ruthless jezebel is bouncing up and down on the best bed in the Double Comfort Shop.